Welcoming Thoughts

Greetings everyone! My name is Fuller McCallister, and this is my new blog. Some of you may already know me from my previous work with gossipbus.blogspot.com, but for those who do not, welcome. In this blog I plan to share my perspective on the everyday activities that make up life. Since my last work with gossipbus, I have done a lot of growing up, and believe that my matured perspective is worth sharing with readers of all demographics. If I have caught your attention, please continue to read as I discuss one of the many dilemmas that have faced man for centuries. Welcome and enjoy!

Brown Buttons

Since the beginning of time, humans have expelled “the warm brown” from their backsides in hopes of reaching some level of satisfaction. With this action, however, comes the inevitable responsibility of cleansing the expulsion area. This process may only take a few seconds, but can also take a few minutes if the expeller is experiencing a messier load, often referred to as “mud butt” or “butt rot”. No matter the situation though, it is common that some of the mess get on the hand of the person administering the cleaning. Sometimes evidence of contact with the expulsion region is more visual than others, but sometimes it is not. This is where our dilemma arises. When it has become visually clear (via crap rag) that the area is clean, some people move right to pulling up their pants before washing their hands. From this writer’s perspective, this can be dangerous as the pants (especially if a button or zipper is involved) can be contaminated with do-do that potentially transferred from the anus to the hand. But is there a way to avoid the transfer?.. 

Some shuffle over to the sink with their pants still down, wash their hands, and then proceed to picking up their pants. Is this method necessary though? Or is it too dangerous? I mean, the risk of falling over into the toilet and drowning is certainly heightened when clumped pant legs are surrounding the ankles. Also, who wants to view their awkwardly shaped “special area” in the mirror while scrubbing excrement off of their fingers? This author only partially does. Perhaps there is no perfect solution to this issue, and part of our life journey is to discover what works best for each of us as individuals. What is troubling though is that you will never be sure how poop-free other people’s pants are. Next time you borrow a pair of pants, be sure to sniff the potential transfer regions to protect yourself from what this author calls “brown button contamination.” You could very well save your life.

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Fuller McCallister