Jingle Bell Rock

Hi everyone,

Only 3 more days until Christmas, and the McCallister home is as lively as ever. Everyone seems to be in good spirits. Well, except for my dad, Frank. He has been moaning all week about having to go to our relatives home for Christmas Eve/Day. He does not like my cousin, Kevin. But who does? Me and Kevin often share a bed on Christmas Eve, and his uncontrollable bowel movements drive me to insanity. In order to escape his fowl stench, I often piss the bed so that I am moved elsewhere. It's a small price to pay.

Anyway, over this past week me and my band got back together to perform a Christmas show. Below is a video of the event. Enjoy!

Personalize funny videos and birthday eCards at JibJab!

Fuller McCallister

Christmas Cheer

Greetings friends,

Only 5 more days until Christmas! How exciting. Below is a video to celebrate the occasion that is upon us.

Fuller McCallister

A Pepsi Christmas

Greetings Friends,

We are now only one week away from Christmas, and things are becoming more festive around the McCallister home. The tree is decorated, the lights are up, and the holiday baking is plentiful. There is also a fresh supply of my all-year-round favourite beverage, Pepsi. I admit that I may have a slight addiction to the deliciously smooth cola sensation, but it is nothing that I cannot kick. Besides, the only down-fall to my addiction is that I wet the bed about 4 times a week. Pretty much the bed-wetting average for kids my age. That's what my mom says anyway.

Anyway, enough about Pepsi. Although it is a deliciously satisfying treat, there are more important things in life, like Christmas. The holiday season is a special time full of friends, family, sharing and caring. Since there is so much going on, it only makes sense that I would blog more. So, make sure to check this site often, as new material will posted every few days. This will include a whole assortment of media, new and old.

Let the countdown begin: 8 days until Christmas!

 Surprise Jason! Listen for what Mark says at the end. Comments welcome...

Fuller McCallister

500 HITS!!

Greetings cyber-friends! I have some great news to share. Fuller’s Thoughts has officially surpassed the 500 pageview mark! To celebrate this monumental occasion, I have provided an assortment of “risky” photos below. Please feel free to comment.

A special shout-out goes to our international viewers: those from the US, Luxembourg, Australia, the UK, Belgium, Italy, Russia, Dominican Republic, France, and Germany. We have yet to reach South America and Africa, but it is only a matter of time.

Melvin!

That's a lot of nuts.

Practice makes perfect.

DK

The one who got away.

Fuller McCallister

Bald Eagle

This post is based on a conversation I had with my cousin, Buzz. It has nothing to do with how “hot” his girlfriend is. She is at most a 4, in the dark.

Have you ever been on a sports team where every participant changes in-and-out of their gear in front of each other? This often occurs in a locker/changing room facility, where benches run in rows inside a giant square of lockers. Bathrooms are often attached to these rooms, with toilet stalls running down one side, and a communal shower aligning the other. It is in these rooms that shame is laid a side, and the exposure of one’s body is expected and accepted. But what do you do when you come across a “bald eagle.”

Here’s the scenario: You are changing out of your hockey gear after a game when you notice across the room that something is different. You sit across the room from the same people every game so you know the scene well, but there is something different about this particular day. Muffled, you scan the room to try and detect what the difference may be. Then it hits you.  Someone brought a bald eagle to that day’s game, not the classic bush-snake that everyone is accustomed to. You notice that other people take notice as well. Some begin to stare, and a feeling of mutual wonder fills the rooms. Why would someone do such a thing? Do they not realize that the rest of the room notices? Left uncomfortable by the situation, you put your head down and try and work out the reasoning for such an occurrence. You attempt to look elsewhere in the room, but no matter where you look, the bald eagle is staring you down. Then, to further your understanding of the situation, you decide to look up and see who brought the bald eagle to the game. You look up, and it’s your father. 

Now what are you supposed to do?... all comments welcome.

Four Bald Eagle Champions

Fuller McCallister

Thanksgiving Goose

Here is the scenario: You are performing a task that requires you to be standing. You are focused on the work at hand and could care less about the activity that may be surrounding you. You are calm, collected, and a lack of outside stress makes your entire body feel loose. Some would say that you are in the perfect space to get work done. And that is when it happens. When you least expected it, a thin, yet rigid, object forces its way into your anal cavity, causing your butt cheeks to clench in defence. You immediately feel violated, and your heart fills with anger toward the intruder. As you spin around to identify the perpetrator, the word “goose” is voiced to justify his/her actions. You are appalled at first, but then realize that everything is okay. Because the action was administered in the name of “goose,” it cannot be considered an assault or homosexual act. But where did the “goose” originate from?

“Goosing” was introduced in September 1996 by a man under the alias Commander Steam (see picture below). According to Steam, the original purpose was to bring quick relief to friends and family suffering from constipation. “By surprising the blocked area with a sharp finger jab, you can loosen the contents within, eventually leading to relief (Commander Steam, 1999).” Although Steam’s theory seemed justified, it was found out later that the intention of the “goose” was more than just helping your loved ones out.

During the summer of 1996, Steam decided to follow his dream in becoming a car air freshener inventor. Inspired by the latest catch phrase, “everybody likes their own brand,” he took it upon himself to develop a new scent replicating the smells of his close friends’ farts. The “goose” was created as a way of gathering sample smells. Steam would administer the “goose,” confront the goosed in a joking matter to save face, and then would retreat to a nearby vacant room to analyze the smell of his finger. Although the air freshener never made it to market, the legacy of the “goose” lives on. The butt-poking is now commonly practiced by many, creating a new level of intimacy between friends and family members. But what is not known is where the name “goose” originates from? (This will be the topic of discussion in the comments section). Judging from the picture below, and the fact that Commander Steam is currently in prison for undisclosed reasons, this writer assumes that the word has some sort of positive, family supporting, message.

 Commander Steam at Neverland Ranch, 2006

Fuller McCallister

Welcoming Thoughts

Greetings everyone! My name is Fuller McCallister, and this is my new blog. Some of you may already know me from my previous work with gossipbus.blogspot.com, but for those who do not, welcome. In this blog I plan to share my perspective on the everyday activities that make up life. Since my last work with gossipbus, I have done a lot of growing up, and believe that my matured perspective is worth sharing with readers of all demographics. If I have caught your attention, please continue to read as I discuss one of the many dilemmas that have faced man for centuries. Welcome and enjoy!

Brown Buttons

Since the beginning of time, humans have expelled “the warm brown” from their backsides in hopes of reaching some level of satisfaction. With this action, however, comes the inevitable responsibility of cleansing the expulsion area. This process may only take a few seconds, but can also take a few minutes if the expeller is experiencing a messier load, often referred to as “mud butt” or “butt rot”. No matter the situation though, it is common that some of the mess get on the hand of the person administering the cleaning. Sometimes evidence of contact with the expulsion region is more visual than others, but sometimes it is not. This is where our dilemma arises. When it has become visually clear (via crap rag) that the area is clean, some people move right to pulling up their pants before washing their hands. From this writer’s perspective, this can be dangerous as the pants (especially if a button or zipper is involved) can be contaminated with do-do that potentially transferred from the anus to the hand. But is there a way to avoid the transfer?.. 

Some shuffle over to the sink with their pants still down, wash their hands, and then proceed to picking up their pants. Is this method necessary though? Or is it too dangerous? I mean, the risk of falling over into the toilet and drowning is certainly heightened when clumped pant legs are surrounding the ankles. Also, who wants to view their awkwardly shaped “special area” in the mirror while scrubbing excrement off of their fingers? This author only partially does. Perhaps there is no perfect solution to this issue, and part of our life journey is to discover what works best for each of us as individuals. What is troubling though is that you will never be sure how poop-free other people’s pants are. Next time you borrow a pair of pants, be sure to sniff the potential transfer regions to protect yourself from what this author calls “brown button contamination.” You could very well save your life.

Please feel free to comment on all articles posted.

Fuller McCallister